Six FriendsWe Must Have

"Friends are like shoes they can bring you profound joy. Friendship experts agree: Just as your favorite old sneakers aren't perfect for every occasion, neither is every friend. It's crucial to have a colorful assortment of friends from comfy to professional to match the varied parts of your life. Why else are multiple friendships so important? As adults, when our lives and needs and interests become more complex, we need a diverse group of friends who cover all of our dimensions. Seeing different friendships for what they are can preserve and prolong them

So what are the five types of friends that will round out your social wardrobe?

The Work Friend. This relationship is so important having an office pal, boosts productivity, makes the day go faster, and work more fun. You can bitch about your boss, fantasize about changes you'd make if we overthrew them, share dirt on who's good to work with and who's not. And we laugh still. Just be on guard: If only one of you gets that promotion, things could get uncomfortable. Try to discuss it in advance if you can.

The Friend in Your Kid's Class. You absolutely need someone to help you check out whether the teacher is really that unfair, co-mom's keep you informed, but also less isolated. Also someone to hang out with, at the science fair."

The Friend Who's Known You Forever. This friendship is priceless, there the one friend you can call to giggle about the past. She keeps your memories alive by sharing them with you.

The Hobby Buddy. You summon this friend when you want to catch a movie or concert, if you want to enroll in a history class or take a horseback ride. It's very motivating to know a friend with a passion to start with. You speak the same vocabulary. And you also have this common need to share your interest.

The Straight-Talking Friend. You know when you're clear that you need to break up with someone...but just can't quite bite the bullet? Talk to this friend. We all need someone who's honest, gets to the heart of the problem, and doesn't sugar-coat. She also won't tell you the swimsuit looks good when it doesn't, or that it's okay with her that you haven't called.

The Feel-Good Friend. We all need a cheerleader! She never belittles, or tries to make things about her, or says one of those dopey things like, You'll get over it, what you need is a fill-in-the-blank! She really knows how much better people feel when someone just listens. And the feel-good friend isn't there for you only when you feel bad. It's essential to have a friend who can be truly happy for you when good things happen, too.

Relationship TLC

Now that you know which friendships are essential, how do you to find and/or nurture the ones you need? Making friends isn't as easy, along with our lives, are less stable than they used to be, and it can feel awkward to try to make new ones. Three key steps to making new friends and maintaining the relationships.

1. Create a strategy. You can't make friends just by being friendly. Check-out social networking sites like Friendster.com and MeetUp.com. If finding the time seems difficult, carve out one lunch or evening every three weeks as Catch Up. Whatever seems do-able is better than nothing at all.

2. Be proactive. You don't have to announce I'd like to be your friend, but you do need repeat exposure. Pour a little social cement by seeking out certain people more than once extend casual invitations when you can.

3. Sort your supply. Prioritize your friendships You don't have to officially break up with any friends you don't feel the need to see constantly, just make sure they're not siphoning too much time away from all the newer, or deeper, friendships that are worth the extra effort to nurture.

So take a friend-inventory today and see what type of friend might be great to add, which friend you could see a bit less of, and who you're dying to catch up with right now. Don't let a busy schedule get in your way. In the end, it's friendship itself that lightens your load and brightens your day."